How does fear affect the birth?

 Imagine yourself labouring in a jungle. Suppose you saw or even thought you saw a tiger lurking in the nearby shadows. What do you think would happen?  Would you have a conscious choice on what happens next? You may think you could control the situation, but your body would already have made the decision. 

 Simply believing there is a tiger in your birth space would instantly stimulate a healthy “fight or flight” mechanism. Labour contractions would slow down or stop and would not resume until you felt safe.  

 This fear activates the nervous system to produce adrenalin (danger hormone), which gives you the “umph” or power to prepare to fight or to run away. Your cervix tightens (to prevent your baby from being born where it is not safe) and the increased level of adrenalin neutralises the Oxytocin (the hormone responsible for stimulating your uterus to contract) and endorphins (pain killing hormone), so that the body naturally slows down or even stops the birthing. Experiencing fear during labour leads to your heat rate increasing, your breathing becoming shallow and faster (so reducing the amount of Oxygen in your body and your baby), your heart pumping blood faster around your body so raising your blood pressure and blood being directed away from your Uterus (and your baby) to your limbs, essentially to prepare you for action.  

 All this fight or flight preparation uses a great deal of energy. As our bodies were only designed to be in this heightened sense of preparation to fight or flight for a few minutes at a time, you can imagine that staying in this state for prolonged periods of time will be extremely draining, if not dangerous.  

 You may be asking, “what does a women giving birth in a jungle have to do with me?”. This is essentially about fear – fear of pain, fear of dying, fear of tearing, fear of loosing control. Your nervous system does not know the difference between real or imagined danger or fear and so will respond in the same way to both - ever felt the rush of adrenalin and fear when watching a horror movie?  Is the threat real or imagined?. 

 If you go into the birth feeling and being frightened, your system will respond accordingly. This fear will lead to increased adrenalin in your body, which leads to increased tension in your muscles and your cervix with less “contraction” hormones being produced, so that your uterus is having to work much harder to flex and tighten. This subsequently makes contractions far more painful, in the same way that if you tense up when you are in pain, the pain becomes far greater.

All the while that there is fear in childbirth, your birthing body will not be allowed to flow easily through the natural progression of labour. In addition, the minute you introduce artificial hormones from induction, the body stops producing the right amount of natural hormones, including the wonderfully powerful endorphins or natural pain killers.



So how does being relaxed and calm make a difference?
 

By being relaxed during your labour, your body responds in a very different way to the fear scenario described above. When you are relaxed, your breathing is even and rhythmical, ensuring a high level of oxygen is entering your body.  This oxygen goes through to your baby, ensuring that your baby remains calm and stable. Increased oxygen stimulates the production of Oxytocin (hormone responsible for contraction) and endorphins. Your blood pressure remains at a healthy level, and as your body is limp and relaxed you conserve your energy, with all excess energy being channelled through to the muscle that is really working hard, namely your Uterus. As the Uterus has no resistance or tension from surrounding muscles, the contractions are more effective and more comfortable. As the labour progresses un hindered by artificial hormones, other natural hormones kick in including relaxin which allows the cells of the birth canal to relax, soften and stretch, so making the babies descent easier and more comfortable.
 

So how does Hypnosis work?

Hypnosis is a natural state, which we all experience many times a day. It is a time when your conscious, (analytical, rational mind) takes a step back and your subconscious (feelings, memories, emotions) comes more to the forefront. For example when you are day dreaming, reading a book and realising you have read the same thing over and over again, driving on a long journey and not remembering anything about the journey etc.


With intended Hypnosis, you purposefully take yourself into a daydream like state using music, soothing images and guided visualisation. Once the critical and analytical part of your mind also relaxes, you become more receptive to positive suggestions and affirmations. As the mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality, the more times you give yourself positive suggestions, the more real they become.

 

How do the Natal Hypnotherapy™ CDs work?

The Natal Hypnotherapy™ Birth preparation CD guides mothers into a deeply relaxed state using breathing techniques, guided imagery and visualisation. Once she is in a deeply relaxing day dream like state, the CD continue with a detailed visualisation of giving birth from a physiological perspective.  It is like she is going through a dress rehearsal of giving birth in a calm, natural way. This way she is practicing how she how she would like to feel and respond to the sensations and changes during labour. The CD also includes “triggers” such as “ each new face you meet reminds you of the confidence you have in your body… each contraction encourages you to relax… the sights and sounds of the hospital float over you and allow you to remain wonderfully relaxed”. This way you are using the things which may otherwise have caused you some anxiety and turning them into something positive and useful.

By listening to the CD over and over again before labour your body and mind become more and more familiar with the processes of a calm relaxed birth, so increasing your confidence and reducing a lot of the anxiety associated with birth. AS the mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality, once you go into the labour for real, all the suggestions just kick in as the body recognises the sensations and triggers and says “Oh yes, we have done this before – this is a sign for me to relax, stay calm etc..”.

So in summary, the key to a comfortable birth is to keep the levels of anxiety and adrenaline to an absolute minimum. Be keeping relaxed, focused and breathing steadily and rhythmically, your body will have the best chance of producing the right birthing hormones to enable you to birth your baby unhindered by chemicals of drugs.

Language is one of the most powerful and influential ways to shape your child.  The words we use and how we say things have an enormous influence on the way our children develop, how they behave and most importantly how they feel about themselves.

Children will inherently do what they believe you expect them to do, as all they know about the world and how they fit in is from you.  If you continually tell them they are clever, smart, funny, that they can do something, that you are proud of them -  they believe this without a second thought.  In the same way if a child is told they are stupid, no good, bad, naughty, trust you to do that, how can you be so silly -  then they will also believe it to be true, and consequently behave accordingly.  Not only does this make them feel those things, it also gradually wears away at their confidence and self esteem - the two things which hold people back more than anything else in the world.

Children’s inherent need to be accepted by people around them, their amazing pace of development and their acceptance of things at face value means that they take everything in and are extremely suggestible. Young children do not yet have the little voice in their head that says, “what if, I must, I shouldn’t, If I do this, then this will happen etc.”, so they simply accept everything that goes on around them as they way things are - They have no other comparison.

There are two particular patterns of language which can have a major influence on your children. One is the “don’t do that, or xxx will happen” and the other is speaking about the behaviour of the child and not the identity of the child. 

 
The first pattern which is so common and yet can so often have the opposite effect is the use of “Do not do xxx”, especially when followed by “or yyy will happen”.  Children’s minds are extremely literal and take in words at face value.  Our brains are not capable of “NOT” doing something; we have to actually do it in our mind before we can think ‘not’ to do it.  Let me give you an example.  If someone were to say “Do not think of a Pink Elephant” what happens - You have to think of one, so as not to.  Or if I say “ the cat is not chasing the dog”.  The same applies.  So by telling a child “do not touch that”, “don’t fall down or “don’t spill your drink”, they must get an image of touching, falling or spilling first.  This has then actually given them the idea or suggestion to do exactly what you are asking them not to do. By making your suggestion in a positive way, that is by telling them what you DO want you are far more likely to have the desired effect. Such as ‘keep you glass upright, get safely down, keep your fingers away from the door’. You are both telling them that you expect them to succeed and so you are giving them an image of succeeding rather than failing.

The second pattern has a more profound effect.  So often parents tell their children off by attacking their identity - “you are a bad boy” “you are a naughty girl” “are you stupid or something?”  The child takes this literally and feels that they, as a person are bad, naughty, stupid etc. when in fact it is certain behaviours that are inappropriate or wrong in a particular context (i.e. not socially acceptable).  Again these feelings slowly wear down self-confidence and self esteem.  Children of course need to know what is right and wrong in each circumstance such as running around a restaurant is not right but running around in the play ground is OK.  It is therefore so important that you let your child know that the behaviour is inappropriate, so rather than “you really are naughty boy” say “running around in a restaurant is naughty”. Again this will make sure they know what is right and wrong without making them feel bad as a person.

So here is your challenge.  For the next week, really think about the way you speak to your child.  Listen to yourself.  When you catch yourself giving them negative suggestions, think of a different way of saying it to get the result you want. As you do this more and more, you find that you actually start to see their actions and behaviour in a different way.  You start to see them succeed rather that visualizing them failing.  The more you see them succeed... the more you find that they do.
 
Babies and toddlers really are like sponges.  They soak up everything that is going on around them.  Their little brains are developing faster than at any other time in their lives.  This is when patterns of speech and the way they think are created and set. What better gift can you give them than the power of positive thinking, self-confidence and the belief that they can achieve anything they set their heart to do.  You may think that that is a bit over the top as we are only taking about babies.  It is not.  We are talking about creating a pattern and a way of thinking which will stay with them for the rest of their lives and the lives of their children.

One of my recollections from childhood in Africa was how odd it seemed that white children wore nappies and generally black children did not. This was later reconfirmed during my travels as an adult in India, the far East and China.  How wonderful I thought for little children not to be burdened with cumbersome nappies.  However in those days I did not explore it any further and was totally unaware that the mothers who carried their babies were never soiled or wet.  

Many years later this came back to me when a pregnant friend told me that she was not going to use nappies on her baby. She had read a lot about the intuition a mother has with her baby in more primitive cultures and believed that all mothers had this intuition if they were in tune with their child. In spite of my up bringing I found this incredulous and negatively thought that it would not possible to do in our society. As I was also pregnant at the time and hoped to nurture my baby in the most natural way possible, I was really interested to follow her progress and to learn from her.  We met up a few months after her baby was born and I was simply stunned to witness a three month old baby not only with no nappy all day, but apparently signalling when she needed to go, being held on a potty and, surprisingly delivering the goods!  

From then on I was determined to find out more and see whether this was a path my husband, Joseph and I wanted to take.  I read a lot on the web, joined an e-mail community of western mums who were practising EC (elimination communication) and thought back to my child hood.  When Joseph was just 4 months we decided to give it a go.  I had read enough to realise that is was perfectly natural and totally possible for all babies to communicate their elimination needs.

By nature no creature would soil their own nests. Animals have a sense of hygiene which instructs them to eliminate away from their “living space”. And yet, in our so-called highly developed society, we expect our babies to wee and poo into nappies which are pressed against their delicate skin for considerable lengths of time. The “experts” tell us that babies have no control over their elimination until around 2 years old and because it is all we see from friends, family and the media we believe it.  So how then do millions of babies in less developed countries manage without nappies?  Surely they must wee and poo all over the place? Or do they?

From birth a baby instinctively communicates to its mother when it is hungry, tired, cold and yes, when it needs to eliminate.  The difference between our society and so many others is that we have lost this vital piece of knowledge and intuition.  Life with nappies has become so the norm that generations have come to believe that we can not live without them.

Preparing to conceive – how the mind can hinder and help you get pregnant.

With all the pressures, hopes and expectations of women today, it is now a common scenario that for many years, a women will do everything and anything to stop her body from getting pregnant.  She zooms through her prime child bearing years with thoughts of career, travel, romance, money, mortgages…… Her only thoughts about her own fertility are towards remembering to take the pill and hoping to keep her periods so regular that she can plan her social life more effectively. 

Then without being consciously aware, her body clock begins ticking louder and louder until strong new feelings seep through every pore, a new longing, a new desire to hold her own baby.  She may be in the right relationship, she may not, but the feelings are still there.  Gone is the desire for a full throttle lifestyle and in its place is such an inner longing, a desperate yearning to fulfil her true role, to become a mother.

And yet for many that conscious choice to become pregnant does not always translate into reality.  Consciously she decides that now would be a good time to become pregnant but for many reasons her body does not listen and month after month go by without the outcome she craves.  What many people do not realise is that our body does not work in a purely mechanical way - our mind and body are not 2 separate entities. 

In fact our emotions, memories and thoughts are all stored within our body and are interconnected with every physical function.  As a result something which may appear as “mechanical”, such as conceiving a child is actually heavily influenced by a woman’s thoughts, emotions and fears. Of course physical  issues are important such as diet, weight, stress and toxin intake, however emotions and fears are equally important and yet hardly ever talked about or addressed.

 
I am sure you have heard of examples where a couple have tried to conceive for many years and then finally give up and decide to adopt, or to go on holiday and then hey presto they get pregnant.  What was different? Did her body suddenly change, did his sperm suddenly get more powerful?  Usually it is when the mental thoughts and fears are put aside and she is no longer holding herself back or “trying” to get pregnant.  

 
Simply the language we use has an impact on our physical responses – if you think of the word “trying” what does that actually mean – it implies putting in a lot of effort but with out much success – it implies that you do not have to succeed as long as you have “tried your best” then that will be OK.  Well no it is not just OK.  Take the word “trying” out and suddenly things become lighter, feel more positive, more empowering, more successful – so instead of trying to get pregnant how about “preparing to get pregnant” or “getting ready to conceive”.  This message will be received far more positively by the body than just “trying”.
 

So what else is going on when a woman’s body is not responding.  As I mentioned at the beginning a woman can often go for 10, 15 even 20 years telling her body “NOT” to get pregnant. Then suddenly things change and she wants to get pregnant but has not actually passed that message onto her body. Simply spend time meditating and turning inwards, actively giving your body permission to conceive, telling your inner self that it is OK to get pregnant, that now everything that is important is in place and it is OK to welcome a baby into your body.

Again, even though you may consciously feel now is a good time to get pregnant, there may be a whole host of subconscious reasons which are holding you back.  There may be issues and fears which you have not really faced up to or even ones that you may not be aware of.

·   Issues and concerns related to your own childhood, your parents, your perception of their love

·  Your feelings about your own ability as a mother

·  Concerns over how becoming a mother will change you, your lifestyle, your relationships, your sense of self, your place in the world. 

·   Feelings about your body, your sexuality,

·    Your ability to cope with pregnancy and childbirth

·    Material issues such as coping financially, the size of your house, car, mortgage. 
All of these can act as blocks to giving yourself true permission to becoming

Ways to improve your chances of conceiving

 
Taking time out to really understand and evaluate your feelings is the first step towards preparing yourself to conceive. Write down a list of anything at all, no matter how trivial, that you are worried about or that might be a mental or emotional blocker. Once you are aware of them – and you may be surprised at what comes outspend time meditating and relaxing and then thinking about each one in turn acknowledging that it has played an important role Imagine letting it go – tie to a balloon and watch it float away, drop it down a well, put it on a white fluffy cloud - as crazy as that may sound, after you have consciously “let it go” you will feel differentIf you have rouble letting go, ask yourself how keeping that thought is helpful or beneficial to you. Then focus on dealing with the answer to that question.  It is quite possible that this is your way of protecting yourself from dealing with it by preventing you from getting pregnant.  If this is really challenging it may be useful to sek the help of a therapist.

So how can hypnosis help with conceiving?

 Firstly it is important to expel some of the myths surrounding hypnosis.  Essentially it is time when your thought patterns shift from the conscious, analytical, here and now way of thinking to a pattern of more relaxed, day dream like wandering of thoughts.  This actually happens naturally many times a day – such as when we are driving, reading, focusing, day dreaming etc.  

 Therefore hypnosis is a state of mind that is totally natural and familiar to everyone. During this time you become more receptive to positive suggestions and thought patterns as your thoughts are less constrained by your analytical, critical way of thinking (your conscious mind). Technically it is a time when we have a greater degree of control over our thoughts and an increased ability to access the part of our mind which stores all out thoughts, intuition, memories, patterns, physical functions etc (known collectively as the subconscious) – the reason that good ideas can come to you spontaneously when you are relaxing in the bath, driving, going to sleep!

 

Normally we dip in and out of this state many times a day, however, with guidance and practice you can actively take yourself into this state as a means to achieving desirable changes both emotionally and physically.  Without the usual constraints and limitations of your conscious mind these changes can take place more easily and more quickly than other approaches.

 

Benefits of Hypnosis for conception

During a hypnosis session you are also benefiting from deep relaxation and increased physical well being as you are breathing effectively, resting your body and allowing all your organs to work more efficiently.  Whilst in this relaxed state you become far more receptive to positive suggestions related to health, well being, increased awareness of your bodies cycles and the ability to change old thought patterns.

 

When you apply these factors you can begin to see how hypnosis can be beneficial in aiding conception.it promotes relaxation which in turn reduces stress ( a common factor in the suppression of conception). This can be particularly beneficial concerning love making so that your body is in a better “state” to accept a fertilised embryo. It can also help to get you off the “emotional rollercoaster” each monthit allows you to explore any issues which may be emotionally “holding you back” from conceiving and takes you through an exercise to actively “let go” of those issues no matter how big small or insignificant they may seem.it enables you to give your body the right messages at a physical as well as emotional level (re for years telling yourself NOT to get pregnant  - you can now give yourself permission to go ahead!)through the powerful use of visualisation it helps to condition your body to be more receptive to conceptionthrough positive suggestions it encourages you to lead a more healthy lifestyle which again has shown to have a positive effect on conception.

 For many it is sufficient to listen to a hypnosis CD such as the Natal Hypnotherapy “prepare to conceive CD” which takes you through all the above steps in a calm, relaxed and enjoyable way.  Good luck!